During today’s KII Stage
I announced that I’ll be
graduating from SKE48
at the end of November.
The post is going to be quite long,
but please do read it if you feel like it.
First of all,
forgive me for the sudden announcement.
I believe I caught you by surprise
and that many of you might
be wondering “Why?”.
I joined SKE at 15
and this year’s November will
make 5 years of my presence in the group.
It feels like it’s been such a long time
and, at the same time, a very short one.
I was chosen as a senbatsu member
right after I joined, and at the time
I didn’t even really know what
the “senbatsu” was about in the first place.
So I just kept running
recklessly, working as
hard as I could, in my own way.
Not rarely my efforts
ended up not being recognized.
And that was because of several different
reasons, included my lack of skills
and the fact that I’ve been too naive.
Nobody’s to blame for that.
Before joining SKE
I’ve been attending a dance school.
When it comes to dance,
having a good style is important
but more than anything, the more
you practice, the better you get
and the more you get recognized.
And the better you get,
the more the chances to
become center and to
be in the spotlight raise.
After being in such an
environment for about 8 years,
I flew out, joined SKE and
found myself surrounded
by things that were all
completely new to me, which
made me wonder if what I had
been doing until then
would’ve had any value.
It all started with a question:
"What is an Idol?"
And…
Being good at dancing is not Idol-ish?
Would it be better to create a character?
After thinking and thinking, this was my conclusion: 、
"I’ll go on staying true to myself.
I’m sure that, even if I won’t
make up any character, there
will be people that will come
to like me for the person I am.”
At first I really sucked at talking as well,
so much that even I myself
didn’t really understand my own words lol
I’ve been working
moved by the honest wish
to do my best, to never ease up
during Stages, to make the fans have fun
and to have the people who came in
the handshake event spend an enjoyable time
EVEN in case I were not to be chosen as
a senbatsu member.
「A bit more. Just a bit more.
Yukko is still lacking something. 」
I’ve hated these words so much.
I’d get like:
「A bit more what!?」
I moved from Team S to Team E
and then to KII.
Each Team allowed me to grow.
Then we get to this year’s General Election.
That General Election
that has always been a huge goal for me.
That place, I’ve always been dreaming of.
I’m grateful,
from the bottom of my heart,
to all those who allowed me to stand on that stage.
I’m not lying. I mean this.
I feel nothing but gratitude towards you.
There’s nothing but the word “gratitude” in my mind.
Thank you so much,
After the ranking in the Election,
many people told me warm things like
"It all starts now!"
or “Let’s work hard next year too!”
But even though - and I’m very happy about it -
I’ve started to be able to work more on various
sectors, I’ve had the pleasure to do more gravure
and to get a solo cover, on the other hand
I also found a new goal for my future.
That is…
"I want to leave SKE and
try once again to devote myself to dance.
I want to get better.
I want to take a lot of auditions!
I want to expand my field of vision
and find a new self!”
These feelings grew stronger and stronger inside me.
There are also many things
I can’t do without being in SKE,
but it’s also true that there are many things
I can’t do WHILE being in SKE.
So the point was to decide what would be better for me.
I’ve been thinking about it a whole lot.
I’ve asked for advices to
Kaotan, Anna, graduated members,
friends and I also discussed a lot with my parents.
In the end I realized that
I’ll still keep thinking and feeling troubled
both if I’ll leave or if I’ll stay.
So if that’s the case,
then it wouldn’t be bad to
take my chances quickly,
get out in the strict society
and try doing many different things!
That’s what I thought as I decided
to make the announcement
together with Moko-san.
It’s a very positive graduation announcement.
I have no regrets.
But I’ve been really troubling
a lot before reaching this decision.
I couldn’t help but think about the fans,
so I kept wondering what would’ve been the right thing to do.
It also happened for these feelings
to turn into a considerable amount of stress for me.
I also cried a lot,
argued with my parents,
and spent nights unable to sleep.
I know I maybe shouldn’t tell you things like these,
but since it’s something I’ve been
thinking about for such a long time
I after all want for you to know about it,
also because I want for you to understand how
it really wasn’t a decision
taken with light feelings, not at all.(>_<)
I’m aware there are going to be
different opinions and feelings about this.
But it’s my life.
And I’m the one who’s going to decide about it.
Once I’ll be out I’m sure
I’ll make a lot of new encounters.
Each one of them might
have a role in me feeling like doing
or trying to do something different.
And I think that is a great thing.
I don’t want it to sound like
I’m writing down things kind of randomly…
I feel really anxious about
leaving the group and going outside.
What I think will be the hardest
thing for me to deal with
is the strictness of society.
That’s totally going to be hard…
And yet!!
For all that I’ve never been recognized,
for all that I want to be recognized
I’m going to start anew, from 0.
Which is why I’m incredibly
fired up about the 0 dance Contest
I’ll take part in on September 14th!
The 4 of us will totally win!
One may think “it’s just” dance.
Yet, it’s exactly because of that. It’s dance.
I want to take my revenge.
There are only 3 months left…
Or we could say there are still 3 months left
for me to keep working in SKE.
I’m not sure myself as for how to see it.
But I’ll do my very best as
SKE48’s Kinoshita Yukiko
until the very end, so please
keep supporting me like you’ve
done until now!!
YukkoOshis and all the other fans too…
Let’s make a lot of memories together, okay?
My Locker
